My kids are struggling and it is time for me to be a mom. I know I am always a mom, but it is time for me to act like one. I have been possessed by my computer and, of course, my blog and I need an exorcist. I have tried closing the screen and shutting the door to the computer room. All this to no avail. It just takes me an extra moment and I need to flip open the screen and swing open the door.
I see they are having a hard time and they are crying for my attention. You would think it is a simple decision to say goodbye to the computer and hello to them. But I can’t. I have been overcome by the urge to write. I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind is clouded by posts in progress. I need my children to become a writer’s block. Now, I have to figure out how it can be done.
Today, I will attempt to be there. Without my computer, I get awful withdrawal and words don’t seem to exit my mouth. It starts slowly. First, I am wonderful and I listen to the whining and I obey their requests. Ten minutes later, the whining is still present and I don’t want to hear it anymore. I tell myself to woman up and smile and nod. I become a smile and nodder. The plan works for an hour tops and then begins to gradually deteriorate. The smile is almost a frown and the nodding head turns achy. The disguise comes to a complete halt and the hands start doing Spirit Fingers. Where is my keyboard? Then the mumbling tumbles in. The kids ask me to speak up and I am afraid if I do I will shout so loud, the windows will shatter. I don’t want to freak them out. I purse my lips shut.
I squeeze my hands real tight and my nails dig into my palms. Damn. It hurts. Don’t yell. Keep calm woman. It is only a computer. Posts that I will soon forget, are racing through my mind. They are forming perfectly. I need to type them. The kids ask me where something is and I explode. LEAVE ME ALONE! What? Why in heaven’s name should they leave me alone. It was a simple question of the whereabouts of the sippy cup. Are you crazy? I apologize and hug the startled and terrified, almost whimpering child.
I see what kind of fear I can cause and it is too much to bear. These are my babies. It gets easier. I play with them and make supper and slowly forget what I was freaking out about. Tomorrow is another day. I will do better.
I need to prevent this occurrence and so I am now posting for the day. The second the kids get home, the computer is going off. I will have a very large glass of highly caffeinated coffee to calm my nerves before they are highly strung. I will be a mom today. A good one. I will play and serve and listen. I will find out why they are stressed out at such young ages. This is my job and my life. And I better be pretty darn good at it. It is the only thing I really have to do and I will make sure to ace it like everything else. Perfectionism must come in to play here too.
Good luck to me. Withdrawal is not allowed in under my watch today. When the cats are away, the mouse will play.
NOTICE: No children were harmed or yelled at in the making of this article. This has been written to demonstrate the dangers of computer withdrawal and to prevent similar incidents.