Afast vs. Aviral Antivirus
Posted by The Logophile
Aching limbs, painful-to-touch belly, sore throat, swollen glands… The symptoms go on.
I have been struck by the virus and I’m in dire need of a cure.
So, I have been contemplating my choice of antivirus software to help me heal and end this misery and it boiled down to two options. We have Afast Antivirus and Aviral Antivirus, both of which are free of charge.
It wasn’t that hard to get these remaining options due to the other software names. There was ‘V3′, which to me sounded like a car engine with three cylinders, when of course I would prefer more power. Or, it sounded like a vegetable beverage with way too little veggie vitamins, so it was a no-go. Then there was eTrust, and the name already made me say no. If you feel the need to tell me to trust a tiny, little, lower case letter “e”, it ain’t happening. And there were others: Doctor Web, who sounded like a flirty Doctor T; Nod32, which sounded like it would cause a stiff neck; F-prot, which was made by a company called ‘Frisk‘- definitely not going there; McAfee, what kinda name is that?; Protector Plus, which sounded like a tampon absorbency, etc.
So the final ones were chosen and I would attempt to decide between them. From the sounds of it, Afast made me more confident about the speed of which my antivirus would come. But then there was Aviral which sounded pretty good as well. If the antivirus could be spread virally, then there would be a lot less of a chance for me to get this dreaded virus again in the near future.
So now I must compare and contrast:
Has a chest that holds viruses. I see that we hold something in common. Additionally, you have the option of quarantining them- sounds good.
It does a thorough scan to catch all sorts of spies and bad guys. You just have to be patient as it scans through it all.
It takes a lot of RAM. I herd about that one.
It’s got a boot time scan. I only have a few pairs, so it’s not that necessary.
Has no web shield. I hate having computer restrictions, so that is nice.
No email scanning. Good, I need some more personal space and a little less supervision.
No behavior blocker. Not sure how that works over here, but it’s not an extra set of parents. Cool.
Has a lot of false-positives. That would be scary. You are pregnant. Oh ha, my mistake.
It’s very light. Good, less of a burden to carry around. I am not very strong.
Well, they seem to be very good options. I will continue to think about it.
I am convinced that the guy behind all this computer lingo is a heavyset, middle-aged, perverted man.
- He still lives with his mom. Proof: motherboard.
- He has this obsession with junk-food. Proof: Anything you do, you get cookies. Anything that you store, is on a chip.
- Every year, he tries to eat more than the previous and hoard it into tiny little places. Once it is in its smallest form, he charges more money. Proof: He started eating bits, then bytes, and then kilobytes. That wasn’t good enough, so he went to megabytes and gigabytes and knocked the obesity charts of America. Finally, he is at terabytes. Do you even know how much that is. You can even hold that much in a minuscule chip. Rumor has it that he has some petta, exa, zetta, and yotta coming soon. They sound like Russian mistresses.
- Middle aged. Proof: Well, I am not entirely sure. I figured he is smart and quite advanced in his knowledge, so he is certainly not a teen. He boards by his mom and names the central part of his brain after her. Then he lets her hold all of his crucial components and provide connectors. Sounds dirty. Especially when it is often casually shortened to mobo. He is the guy behind all the computer geekiness. Sounds middle-aged. Just a hypothesis.
- A man lacking morals. Proof: Well, the Russian mistresses, of course. Then, he scans chests, and not just for a two second glance, it can take several hours of scanning to find anything. Then he is satisfied when he spots a Trojan. Clearly, it is a man.
Even if I find the right antivirus cure, I doubt it will help me entirely. I probably need a more broad protection like an all-in-one, full sweet security software. And so, I spoke to the doctor today, and she agreed to put me on antibiotics to solve, at least, part of the dilemma.
One thing at a time, my friends.
Good we have a family plan. Little guy has eye infection in each eye and ear infection in each ear.
GET US SOME DRUGS OVER HERE. FIND US SOME CURES.