Cayenne You Do It Or Not?
All it says, in the brilliant world of Google, is that I should put a 1/4 teaspoon into a cup of hot water.
Sounds weird to do that for a burning ulcer, but it’s online. If it’s online, it must be true.
So what it’s cayenne pepper, it’s only 1/4 of a teaspoon. Practically nothing at all. No biggie.
I followed the instructions and stirred up my brew. I looked at it and took a quick swig, trying not to think, but still holding my nose. I am sure most of you have never tried this, but trust me, closing your nostrils will not mask out that taste in the slightest bit. I only got half of a gulp down, to my disappointment, and I still had the whole rest of the cup to go. I filled up a large pitcher of room temperature water and prepared myself to lick the concoction clean.
The cup suddenly looks so big and so full, seemingly impossible.
Come on, don’t be a wuss, just drink it down and get it over with.
Oh my ulcer will cry, I’m so sorry, ulcer, I am so truly sorry….
Nose closed, (in my head it was still necessary) I swung my head back and took a large swig of the floating, fiery, pepper flakes and then switched to 20 gulps of thirst-quenching, clear, sweet water. Then again and again, back and forth, until the last drop was finished.
The taste was dry and bitter and SOOOO HOT, all at the same time. Ugh!
My ulcer was screaming so loud and my body was shaking from the heat. So I did what anyone would do and turned up the music and danced. For the first time in my life, I actually knew how to move. Well, my body loosened and did it without me. Apparently, I am not wanted when it comes to dancing and my body managed without my help. Either way, I was jigging with the beats and perfectly coordinated. My kids just stared, shocked. After a few moments of a sweating, shimmying, red-hot mom losing it, they eventually smiled and broke into laughter.
I am glad someone was amused.
For once, there is method to my madness. I may occasionally transform to a real fanatic, natural freak, but this time, I really had no choice. I have a gaping lower esophageal ulcer. It screams and pours forth lava every time I eat or don’t eat. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. That sort of thing.
The doctors wanted me to do a Helicobacter Pylori Breath Test (For moms of kids, just read as helicopter, it’s easier). It is a bacteria that causes ulcers and needs to be treated with antibiotics. To take this test, I had to be off of any reflux medicine and antacids for two weeks. It was two weeks of sheer hell. I slept sitting and cried while I ate acidic foods. Majority of the day was spent gripping my chest to counteract the radiating pressures and severe burning.
Today, finally, I took the test. When I was there, I told the nurse that now, I really believe that you can actually capture sunshine in a bottle. She looked at me quizzically and gave a clueless, polite smile. The way they check for this bacteria is that you have to drink some sort of crappy lemon acid (and cry really loud from the bellowing, kicking ulcer) and breathe through a straw into a tiny tube. They then, quickly seal it shut, catching your breath; literally. Why then wouldn’t you be be able to bring me back some sunshine from the tropics.
Even the Gorillaz captured sunshine in a bag. It’s not a new idea.
Supposedly, cayenne pepper is very healthy for everyone. You should read up on it here.
You may be thinking, that is insanely gross. But just know, it was not nearly as bad as the apple cider vinegar that I drank down, desperately trying to relieve myself of shooting ulcer pain. Now that could make anyone puke.
It has been two weeks and my ulcer has definitely calmed down. I can only attribute the success of my ulcer management to the cayenne.
Thank you, cayenne.