“Gaslighting” Suffocation

Ever have that feeling that you are suffocated from feeling emotions? Or that you are constantly suppressing your true reactions to life’s situations? It seems that you are not alone.

A Message To Women From A Man: You Are Not “Crazy”. I could not have put it any better than this. Read how the term Gaslighting shines some light on this phenomenon which is familiar to many of us.

You can’t be upset at your spouse, significant other, or best friend even though they have wronged you terribly. You both know that it is nearing your time of the month, and you know that anything you complain about translates differently in their head. It goes something like this, “Blah blah blah… I am just moody and crabby due to PMS… Just ignore me and smile and nod like you understand.” All you had wanted was an apology and they don’t even hear what you are saying. It is dismissed as a symptom of the upcoming visitor.

A whole pregnancy you are walking on eggshells. People are upsetting you and hurting your feelings on many occasions, perhaps because your sensitivities are more intensified due to hormones. Either way, they are still painful remarks. You can’t show how you are affected by their actions or words. They jokingly say that you look so fat and you must be carrying twins to which you grimace to smother your pain. You look a bit hurt because there is only so much you can hold back and then they laugh it off calling you “so sensitive and hormonal” for not getting the joke.

I have experienced it many times when it came to doctors and physical pain. Many times when they have no answers they excuse it as femininity. It must be because of your period, pregnancy, or nursing. When none of the above are applicable they just brush it by as plain old hormones. There are times when I do feel more sensitive and emotional; But Doc, I had children and lived through the pain. I squeezed a watermelon out of straw so I think I could tackle hormones. I am not whining, I know pain when I see it, trust me.

At the same time while we title women as emotional and sensitive we additionally throw in tough. They can handle having kids, but the reason why men don’t have babies is simply because they would never be able to bear it. Men enduring a pregnancy? Right. That isn’t a fair statement because I couldn’t tolerate it either and no one gave me the option to hand over the job to the hubs. I would have done so in a heartbeat.

I have to say that although many times I feel like I am unable to react and experience my feelings outwardly, I see the same done to men in a different sense. I always hear how men are so macho and can’t be hurt. They are tough and you can beat them to a pulp and it wont make a dent in their lives. I find this to be a terrible thing that we, as a world, have done to the male gender. I feel like it has led to a majority of men fully concealing their emotions. If they show it, they are labeled as gay; and if they don’t, they are true men.

Men do feel emotions, but in their own unique way. They also communicate in different ways. It is not that they don’t feel pain, they just express it in other forms. The age-old question of why men and women were matched together. We will never understand each other fully, but we can learn different ways to sense their pain. Each sex hurts and each one needs a different kind of comfort. There is no reason why either side should make the other suffocate. It is time that men and women learned how each opposite side works and what makes them tick.

Mars and Venus: it’s time you, seemingly contrasting planets, made yourselves more familiar with each other. You are both in the solar system, that is similar enough. It’s time you both got along. Learn about your neighbors and work together to find each of your deeply hidden secrets.

This is a great article on the difference of men and women emotionally, give it a read.

As always, thanks for reading! 🙂

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Posted on September 21, 2011, in My Daily Blogs and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. love the term gaslighting. now i have a name for it!

  2. I thought you had a lower gas leak.

  3. k… so ill admit. Ive been a little behind on ur blog- just about 4 months worth :(… but i tried to catch up and i now cannot post replies to everything! i can only do so as i speak(yet type) cus s/o is in my house collecting my closets that were stored away since we moved (obviously collecting dust) and i now had the time to read through some of your posts…( and my darlin little E man is fast fast asleep in his crib!!!) Anyhow… love readin them! just lettin ya know s/o else reads them!! keep up the blogging!

  4. wordsfallfrommyeyes

    Great stuff. Yeah, men are so different, but I do like men who are sensitive, can feel, have heart.

  5. It is a shame that we tend to label each other. My husband is extremely sensitive, but never was allowed to show that growing up. Thankfully now he feels safer expressing his emotions and is stronger and healthier for it. Great post!

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