Grand Canyon Aphthous Ulcer
I have delivered three babies but somehow that doesn’t even come close to battling a canker sore. For that you need a Hulk-type of stamina. These ulcers are claimed to be only shallow sores, but this time I can assure you it is no such thing. Under a microscopic lens you would see that the gaping hole on my lower lip has the depths of the Grand Canyon. I am pretty sure there are even little tiny miners piercing through the raw flesh with minuscule Cold Steel shovels.
It is known that they hurt more when they are agitated, but I can promise you that mine has a life of its own. I don’t even have to think or bother the lesion, it just burns like a lit firecracker at all times. The white circle of fire surrounded by the inflamed red halo has parked itself on my lip and refuses to leave.
I tearfully begged it to finally let me be, it has proved its point. Little things can do a lot more damage than we can imagine. But I already have been made aware of this from my darling three little stooges. I have been punched in the mouth many times to reintroduce the pain, just in case I forgot it was there. The musketeers have been wreaking havoc in all the worst ways while I suffer from this blister. I have turned into a mad women. A bellowing witch.
It just happened one day that it decided to pay me a visit. My lip swelled and it chose to stay. I have never had a canker sore for this amount of time, a week is just torture. I looked online for any home remedies to save me from the headaches, mouth pains, and lip-to-teeth crashing torment. There were lists of Alum, Baking soda and Salt and Peroxide rinses, and oddly enough even smears of Hershey’s Chocolate bars. The salt rinse, as the grandmothers have all been telling us, worked the best for me since way back when. This time, however, the location of the sore was not helpful for the rinsing method. Being higher up on my lip, rinsing with it tucked in my mouth would serve as an issue.
The next best thing that all the onliners claim to be for only the non-wuss people, was to pile salt on the open wound. Cheers for the brilliant remedy-tough-men. This ought to make everyone try to be part of the non-wuss clan. And so, at a loss for any other ideas, I went for it. It could have been cayenne pepper but I probably would have been insane enough to try that as well. I dumped a little salt mountain on the pit of fire and the only thing I could think of next was a stream of obscenities.
My whole body went into spasms. My lip was actually trembling and my teeth felt like they were on an erupting volcano about to start popping off one after another. It felt like it was decades of time that it was sizzling through the raw skin but I was only at 10 seconds. I probably would not even live through a minute, that was my only comfort. No one would ever know that I was a wimp, they would never know what happened.
I stumbled to the faucet and turned it on full blast. I pulled my lip out to beneath the powerful burst of water pressure to numb the blazing wound. The cool rapids were so soothing I swore never to take the rivers for granted. But I was not done. I was a wuss and needed to prove to myself otherwise. It is written that after a minute the pain of the salt burn would subside, and so I now needed attempt to reach, at least, 60 seconds.
I tried it again, this time skipping painfully around my house while clenching my poor shivering jaw. There were saliva factories forming oceans of drool faster than I ever imagined possible. There was a steady flow pouring from the corner of my mouth and I was red-faced and panting uncontrollably. I could do this, I had drug-less vaginal births for heaven sake. And it really happened, the storm passed. My face cleared and my nerves calmed.
After a few moments keeping the salt on, watching what appeared to be bubbling on the wound, it was time to take it off. I rinsed my lip, which no longer felt a thing and checked out the damage. My lip was swollen white wherever the salt had touched. The inside of the sore was whiter and yellower than I had ever seen it. It couldn’t be a correct reaction but it was finally numb. To that I was grateful.
Two days of the salt torture and still it wasn’t healing and it was as bad as ever. The salt was only a temporary fix and it was time for a doctor. She told me it was a virus that had to run its course and did not want to leave me. She prescribed me with some topical anesthetic gel but the pharmacist had better ideas as usual. She said there was no reason to just numb it, I may as well heal it. I got a natural spray and every day I am watching it heal. It is a long and dreadful process but I think the end is near.
The battle of the canker sore is far more intense than any pain I can remember. The location couldn’t be worse and the timing can never be good. Unless you get hooked up to IV for sustenance, the possible two weeks it can take to heal feels like a lifetime of hell.
Best thing I can get out of the whole thing is, I AM NOT A WUSS! So there.
Thanks for reading!