Turning of the Age Page
Remember when your mom or teacher tossed this phrase at you; “I know it all, I’m older and wiser. When you get to my age you will understand”. Okay, maybe not exactly in those words, but that is what your ‘immature’ brain made out. They claimed that you should revel in those glamorous days of school because “Someday, you will wish you were back in high school”. You, most likely, nodded and shrugged it off thinking of all the work load, petty politics, and bullying that you would surely never yearn for. You will definitely be different.
I can now safely say that I am past all the past and can finally speak as a “wise” adult. I don’t miss high school and I don’t miss teenage drama. I am more than satisfied where I am in life and would NEVER want to be stuck back in love triangles, crushes, schoolwork, and anything that has to do with being so dependent on everyone else. I hated being unsure of myself and I hated not knowing where life was going to take me. I hate the unknown.
I saw a young girl driving by in the middle of her lessons, instructor to her right, glancing nervously at the road. My hands got clammy and my heart skipped a beat remembering what it was like taking the road test. I took it twice in my hometown and once in another country, only a short time ago. I don’t ever want to go back to those beginnings. Beginnings are hard and although necessary, I am glad that they have passed.
I toiled through the years of school work and constantly worried about my grades. I agonized over failed friendships and cried many oceans of tears. I picked at the never-ending acne and battled a nonexistent self-esteem. I suffered many sleepless nights worrying about childish and frivolous fears. I sobbed over boys and swallowed hurt from the girls. I struggled through the tests and endless classes and finally, it has come to an end. I guess I am not as wise as my parents and teachers but I am strangely satisfied where I stand.
True, there were amazing times as well. I feel confident that I luxuriated in every moment. The hours spent on the phone with boys, the old loves that I had, all not in vain. The fond memories of my past and all of the good times. I didn’t forget the sweet words and the true friends. Just writing this brings waves of nostalgia for all that is gone. But that is what makes it so special. The fact that we remember mostly the pleasant and positive parts. But I wouldn’t go back and do it again.
I don’t even want to go back to last week when my canker sore was stinging my lip. When I was so charley horse from exercise that my legs turned to mounds of jello and I almost crumbled down the steps. Simply sitting on a chair was a huge chore. The kids were sick and when they weren’t passed out or vomiting, they were attempting to burst my eardrums with screams. Why go back when you can enjoy where you are? If I would sit and worry that someday I will want to come back here, I would never be happy.
I will hopefully someday get old, and I try not to think about the aging body and deteriorating strength that sometimes comes along. When it comes, I will embrace it. As of now I am young enough, but not too young and I am content. I am a mother of three adorable boys and a wife of an amazing man, and I’m thrilled to be done with the past. I can dream of the kids growing up and possibly easier times, but then I would miss the frightfully speeding days of their youth.
Wherever you are today, however old or young you are, cherish the part of life you are currently in. Don’t wish to be older and don’t dream of your carefree youth. The more time you spend on craving what you don’t have, takes away from what you have, when you have it. I am now sure that those people who claimed they were wise, were just foolish. No one should ever enjoy something at the fear of losing it.
Appreciate each day as a building block to creating who you are as a person, the best that you can be. Each second is an experience to form your life story. Shower people with love and express to others how much you care. Adore your children, spouse, and friends. Savor every moment and relish every day; the good and the bad. Life is too short to wish back or to worry for what comes next.
Don’t make the mistake of being “wise” and dreaming of old days.
“The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” (ALICE MORSE EARLE )