Helplessly Crippled

I wish to walk
I wish to fly

I wish to see
I wish to know

do you tell the crippled
do you tell the blind
do you tell indecisive
do you tell me to be

how can one explain
how can one relate
how can one understand me
how can I control my fate

try to make a f**** decision
try to make sense with my screwed head
try to be a functioning person
try to have the will to rise from your bed

try to feel like s***
so insecure and unappreciated
try to be a piece a crap
try to feel old and jaded

you understand my fears
my problems and what not
go ahead make the damn decisions
take everything that I’ve got

I’m only this far from giving up
from being unable to work my head
to doing the unthinkable
the irrational, my dread

is there anything that’s stopping me
yes it’s the hope on which I thrive
that one day I will rise up from
and climb out of this dismal dive

everyone feels they’re a help
they know everything I don’t
it’s so simple I am told
it’s cause to listen that I wont

but I don’t know to whom
I must listen cause they know
I don’t know to which of me they’re referring
to which personality it would go

sometimes it’s a disorder
is what I really do think
multiple personalities
schizophrenia, missing a link

G-d forbid it’s any of those
just an identity crisis nonetheless
to an identity I can’t control
to that I will definitely confess

I can cry my eyes till they’re dry
I can cut my arms till I’m dead
but what will I explain to G-d
about what kind of life I led

but no I am causing the problems
I’m the one making life so hard
cause don’t you think that’s everyone’s will
to make sure their beautiful life is marred

why would I make things difficult
why wouldn’t I solve all things
why wouldn’t I fly
if I presently have two wings

just no one really cares
they all just make believe they do
they all try to solve the world’s problems
it doesn’t matter if it’s me or you

just another figure
to enter and exit their life
just another person
to end their quarrels & their strife

I can die and people will cry
they can then shower and start new
they can pity and say it’s so sad
life is so simple to get on through

I will just offer them my mind
I will just offer them my lives
I will then offer them my pain
and offer them my knives

yes I make myself live in hell
I must grow up and see who’s me
but I would rather the other options
which will warrant me as free

why would I make things difficult
why wouldn’t I solve all things
why wouldn’t I fly
if I presently have two wings

thank you for all your help
thanks for all you cared
thanks for showing me the light
from which I have always run and feared

I can’t do this anymore
I f*** give up now
go on say the sad piece of s***
to live just didn’t know how

cause its all her f**** problem
she brings them on herself
just write me in a s**** book
and stick me on the shelf

add me to those other problems
the ones who to society were a load
so to add their stories to a chapter
you’ve felt at least that much to them you owed

time to give up my facade
okay I agree that’s what I’ll do
I just pray to G-d that no one
will have to face the hell that I’ve been through
© Shay Delamater and, 2010-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shay Delamater and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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