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In the end I’m gonna be standing at the beginning…

I am engulfed with freedom. However, now that it is here, I do not even know where to begin.  I had disappeared from the blogworld for quite some time now, due to insane and sometimes lovely pandemonium, as previously and partially mentioned. Now I can do whatever I want.“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.(Karen Ravn) Who can say it better than that? I can do whatever I dream of. Anything but a doctor, lawyer, merchant, or chief, or any high-end professional for that matter. I can’t do anything that would entail prior education because high school wont cover “education”. So that leaves me with an infinitesimal chance of a real career.

I draw. I can make pictures and sell 2-5 a year, on a good year, bringing in a salary of up to 100 bucks. Neh. Not working for me. I can clean people’s houses making 10 dollars an hour, but I will collapse after a week. That wont work either. I enjoy arranging gift baskets, but I need to take out a mortgage to buy even the baskets. I wish I could sing. I may not be able to pull off an Avril Lavigne voice or meet her range, but I can hold a tune. I am definitely not even cute to say ‘I am not as cute and talented as Taylor Swift’. I wonder if I could write a song… I don’t even know where to start.

So being far below amateur in the singing department, it will have to be out of the question. I will save it for my indoor voice. Or shower. Though, I am pretty sure I never sang in the shower. I have an agglomeration of poetry and I yearn to compile it into a book, but I don’t know who would read it. I need to find a way to get poetry from others to build up enough to publish.

I am so busy attempting to identify my worthy ability that I am forgetting my current job. The laundry on the couch refuses to budge. I have tried shouting abracadabra but they only stared at me with wonder. I guess that phrase no longer works. The dishes still remain in the sink, climbing to great heights. At least they have succeeded in the ascent nearly as high as Everest. I am endlessly crunching on Cheerios and Matchbox cars that used to have four wheels before I came around. My son has eaten cookies majority of the day because I am too lazy to figure out what a dairy and nut free kid can eat. I think those people just starve.

Two days free, and nonetheless not a job idea in sight. I am too talented and too capable and no one will hire me due to the fear of severe competition. Those teachers were correct. It has been an issue from my youth. “You are so smart and capable. You just have to learn how to apply yourself.” Now here I sit, and all I apply myself with is face cream on a special night that I find a moment to even shower.

I really have to start at the beginning. Wow.

Man Vs Woman

I am all for equal rights to men and women and I believe women should work and need to work. We can do their role, however, I am pretty sure they can not do ours. I have heard it countless times too many. “I can be a stay at home mom and I would be perfect at the job. I even believe the house would run much smoother than when you do it. Why don’t you go to work instead of me.” These are the words of the naive and ignorant men.

Some days I just want to write a list of all the things I did in the house so someone, even if it has to be me, would notice. Sometimes I just want to make special billboards for myself congratulating myself for being the most exceptional mom and housewife. But I don’t. So we remain quiet and we allow the men to keep believing that we do nothing at all.

I love how they honestly believe that they would do a better job. The only person I would never allow to switch roles is my husband. He may be right. Him out of all the men out there may, to my annoyance, can do a better job than me. And that is why I will never let it happen. I would rather work and hire a sitter and not tell him so that he continues working and believing that I am at home being awesome.

You mean to tell me that men would actually sweep behind couches, under beds, and in the corners of the ceiling. Oh right. Why do you have to do things like that. No one is inspecting the corners… Read the rest of this entry