Blog Archives

Hurricane Summer

Wow. I missed a post last week. I have been so good with my blog until the hurricane of summer bedlam flooded me over the head. The kids were actually losing it. Oh wait, that was me. But them as well, they were going out of their minds. For the first time ever, I was scrubbing pen and markers off my walls and furniture. They never reached that level of boredom and they were topping the charts. We surpassed the summer insanity, and extreme chaos was at an all-time high. Read the rest of this entry

What’s on your mind?

You all know that I hate posts that resemble a shared Facebook status. Even though I do, I must do it anyways so that my faithful readers will be patient and return after all the chaos has subsided somewhat.

What’s on your mind?
Crazy town over here.

Nice blogger gave me a shout out.
Can’t train my kid.
Trained my kid.
Non-speaking child knows letters.
I just settled and now I have to move and start again. 

Okay, I will give a bit more details. Read the rest of this entry

The Fountain of Youth

   It all started last night when Child Number Three forced me to become a housewife. I never strive to becoming the model housekeeper, for there is far too much upkeep involved. I don’t want the house to always be glistening in the sunlight. I have gotten used to the floating dust storms that occur every time something is moved or even looked at. I would much rather sit back and watch a few shows and make a couple of crafts. Where is the fun in working my butt off to follow all the homemaking gurus in all their advice books in their attempt to turn Mess Queens into Domestic Goddesses. Where are all the guides to Becoming A Happy Mom with Loads of ME Time? Why must we burden ourselves to prove to our friends how perfect we are?

Because we aren’t.

   Sometimes my house is clean, and sometimes it is hard to tell if it there is even a floor. Read the rest of this entry

DIY Window Curtain

   I know I am on a DIY streak, but that is all I have time for nowadays. Several days ago, I wrote a post but never had the chance to type it. I can’t blog anything that takes intense thought processes because the kids have been taking me on a whirlwind of a crazy ride. I have Child Number Three jumping on me now, as I type,  shouting some sort of gibberish and occasionally hitting the keys. A woman has got to be able to think to write something comprehensible. We aren’t just naturals, you know, of course.

   And so, the only thing I was able to do (I am so thankful for this discovery) was find something for those little beady eyes to get glued to. Anything that sounds like a machine or moves by itself, will mesmerize those little guys. Boys will be boys. So I whipped out my Wal-Mart sewing machine and tried to find something to stitch up. I had a flat sheet from Wal-Mart, of course, which was about 3 dollars and change and I wanted to make a quick curtain for the guest room. It took so short and came out so nice, I had to share.

YOU NEED:

A flat sheet of any color or pattern
An extendable curtain rod from a home store.
An old table-cloth. (optional) Read the rest of this entry

The Most Difficult Part of Vacation…

Is Coming Home.

It is truly the most arduous endeavor after a tranquilizing weekend of sheer bliss.

I feel like a mom should never say things such as this, but I did not miss my children at all. I guess I deserve to be blacklisted. Either way, I was quite satisfied not hearing the midnight cries and did not long for the tugs and belly jumping in mornings when I need my sleep most. I can see missing them long-term perhaps, however, this vacation was nice without it all. When I got home, at least two of the kids were excited to see me. We count our blessings.

Their beautiful little faces had me enthralled for the first half hour. Read the rest of this entry

Smitten With Laziness

I am not sure how this happened, but I have been plagued by the laziness epidemic. It is possible that it’s because we have computers and now the world is at our fingertips. I assume that is the cause.

I wake up and dash to the bathroom. (Probably the most I move in a day) Sadly, I must lift my lazy butt, although I am awaiting for the arrival of a bathroom app or something of the sort. I grab a quick microwave meal from within one of the bags of delivered groceries which were ordered online. Seconds later, voila, a full nutritious meal. I sit by the computer and read through my emails and pay my outstanding bills. I order some pizza for lunch and chat up a few friends. I put my feet up and watch the latest TV show episodes and check out the current news. Read the rest of this entry

Adult-Proofed Home

I was so tempted to put ‘porn’ in the Enter title here spot. Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty sure I will never be at that much of a loss for words to head towards that topic. Additionally, I am extremely bothered by that subject matter and I will attempt to stay as far away as humanly possible.  All I was aiming for, was for some readers.

I know, it sounds so desperate and it’s as if I am begging all the biggest spammers and hackers to pay a visit to my private little world. I do get some people to stop by, but the comments are very few and far in coming. I like to get a sense that people are reading my blog without having to check my stats. It is becoming obsessive. It isn’t normal. Read the rest of this entry

Computer Tyranny

I am trying exhaustively to post, but there are Dr. Seuss lines ringing through my head. My husband is in the other room reading “Our eyes see flies. Our eyes see ants. Sometimes they see pink underpants” from The Eye Book. I can’t think straight with the raised voice decibel in this house. The kids are scrambling my brain.

We told Child Number Two to stop making so much noise, and he said, “Put your fingers in your ears and then you wont have a problem.” He came over to me and told me, “Mommy, I just can’t deal with you now.” For a newly three-year-old, the kid’s got a mouth. It’s kind of scary when you have to be on your best behavior around your children or they will be mimicking you at the worst of times and yelling the “rare” obscenities that you may possibly shout.

Deafening noises… Zero concentration… Read the rest of this entry

Why so violent? Beats me.

What should I do, my kids beat me up. I am sure there is a hotline for something like this, but hey, what else are blogs for.

It all starts bright and early in the morn. Occasionally, it isn’t yet morning, but you can tell the sky is thinking about it. The little guy, who miraculously manages to join me in the bed, prefers to let me know of his presence quite violently. He throws himself over my belly, which of course suffers dearly when so highly intoxicated with urine. You know those times your eyes blink open, warning you to pee so your bladder doesn’t explode. Those times you just snooze your brain messages to return to those blissful moments of slumber. Ouch. Read the rest of this entry

Computer Curfew

My kids are struggling and it is time for me to be a mom. I know I am always a mom, but it is time for me to act like one. I have been possessed by my computer and, of course, my blog and I need an exorcist. I have tried closing the screen and shutting the door to the computer room. All this to no avail. It just takes me an extra moment and I need to flip open the screen and swing open the door.

I see they are having a hard time and they are crying for my attention. You would think it is a simple decision to say goodbye to the computer and hello to them. But I can’t. I have been overcome by the urge to write. I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind is clouded by posts in progress. I need my children to become a writer’s block. Now, I have to figure out how it can be done.

Today, I will attempt to be there. Without my computer, I get awful withdrawal and words don’t seem to exit my mouth. It starts slowly. First, I am wonderful and I listen to the whining and I obey their requests. Ten minutes later, the whining is still present and I don’t want to hear it anymore. I tell myself to woman up and smile and nod. I become a smile and nodder. The plan works for an hour tops and then begins to gradually deteriorate. The smile is almost a frown and the nodding head turns achy. The disguise comes to a complete halt and the hands start doing Spirit Fingers. Where is my keyboard? Then the mumbling tumbles in. The kids ask me to speak up and I am afraid if I do I will shout so loud, the windows will shatter. I don’t want to freak them out. I purse my lips shut. Read the rest of this entry