Blog Archives

Major-ly Useless

A very common complaint among students who have completed degrees in English is, “Now that I have wasted all these years studying English, now what? What can I  even do with such a degree?” I always wanted some sort of academic title to follow my name and even though this one does not entail an immediate job offer, it has caught my attention.

Upon graduation, most successful students conclude their college years with a love for literary works, critical and analytical thinking skills, and the ability to write clearly and effectively. Yes, they may not be able to professionally cook, bake, paint a masterpiece, cure an illness, or aid in the latest medical breakthrough; but they sure as hell can produce a solid piece of literature. Read the rest of this entry

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Oh, No, I, Have, OCCD!

Supposedly, the worst thing a writer can do is overuse commas. I think that the right thing to do now,  is to remove the title suffix “W” from my name. Sadly, I can no longer be referred to as a writer.

After reviewing some of my previous posts, I have come to the conclusion that my teachers were correct. Way back in grade school grammar classes, I was labeled as the Comma Crazy student. And only now, after years of denial, I finally admit that it is true. It’s a big step to say that a teacher is right. We all know they, like our parents, are always wrong. However, I’m afraid in this case they were right and have described me perfectly. Only this once, of course. Read the rest of this entry

Computer Curfew

My kids are struggling and it is time for me to be a mom. I know I am always a mom, but it is time for me to act like one. I have been possessed by my computer and, of course, my blog and I need an exorcist. I have tried closing the screen and shutting the door to the computer room. All this to no avail. It just takes me an extra moment and I need to flip open the screen and swing open the door.

I see they are having a hard time and they are crying for my attention. You would think it is a simple decision to say goodbye to the computer and hello to them. But I can’t. I have been overcome by the urge to write. I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind is clouded by posts in progress. I need my children to become a writer’s block. Now, I have to figure out how it can be done.

Today, I will attempt to be there. Without my computer, I get awful withdrawal and words don’t seem to exit my mouth. It starts slowly. First, I am wonderful and I listen to the whining and I obey their requests. Ten minutes later, the whining is still present and I don’t want to hear it anymore. I tell myself to woman up and smile and nod. I become a smile and nodder. The plan works for an hour tops and then begins to gradually deteriorate. The smile is almost a frown and the nodding head turns achy. The disguise comes to a complete halt and the hands start doing Spirit Fingers. Where is my keyboard? Then the mumbling tumbles in. The kids ask me to speak up and I am afraid if I do I will shout so loud, the windows will shatter. I don’t want to freak them out. I purse my lips shut. Read the rest of this entry